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The selfishness inside of me

Supporting friends is always really important so that they know they are not alone and can always talk to people if they need to. Recently one of my friends has been asking for help to set up a blog and I haven’t made enough effort to help them get it all started up. Why is this? Because I am slightly selfish.

It’s not that I don’t think she would make a good blogger because she will make a fantastic blogger who has a lot of great views and ideas to go with it. I have just had a strange sense of possession over this whole blogging thing because it is one of the things that sets me apart from most of my friends, blogging is MY special thing and god forbid I share it with anyone deserving of a chance to prove themselves as fantastic bloggers.

For some reason this morning my mind completely changed and I now want her to start up a blog because she really does deserve a chance to share her views and thoughts with the world and prove herself as a blogger. What has changed? Absolutely nothing, I just realised that what I was doing was selfish and horrible stopping her from doing something she will really enjoy. Luckily for me we have both been really busy recently and had very little time to do it so there is time to redeem myself.

This has all made me sound like such a horrible person, but growing up I never had anything special and unique to me it was always “Jodie the one who follows and never makes her own decisions” Now I am doing lots of activities, like blogging, that I chose to do by myself not because my friend was doing it. It’s the one thing people tell me I am fantastic at and also the thing people ask for advice on. Advice I generally keep to myself because I want the upper hand.

No longer will I withhold my advice because I am beginning to realise that the reason I often followed other peoples lead when it came to out of school activities is because they seemed FUN and like I would enjoy them – not because I wanted to be like that person. I have finally found something I am fantastic at so why shouldn’t I help people with it? The truth is I am really excited to have a friend to talk to about all of this, someone with a mutual interest we can talk about all the time. There is no logical reason for me to withhold my knowledge any more. Telling someone else about what I do doesn’t make it any less unique to me because the thing that makes my blog unique is my views of subjects, not the fact I am the only person in my friendship group who has one.

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