For as long as I can remember I have always lived my life for everyone else around me and not for myself. It was always about what everyone else was doing, not what I wanted to do – this has changed. Recently I have only been doing what I want instead of what I am told I should be doing, this has made me so much happier than I have ever been before.
Being able to move at my own pace is something so important to me – not walking wise, social progress and intellect – I have gotten in to the stage where is somebody tells me what to do I will automatically ask myself “Do I want to?” Generally the answer is yes, but it is a good habit to get in to. Most of my life has been spent saying the word “yes” so much to the point that I am beginning to fear the power the word has.
Saying yes to people is like making a commitment you can’t back out of because if you do you feel so guilty and end up doing it anyway. Discovering the word “No” was possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. No longer do I have to commit to every little thing that people thrust upon me for I have gained a new power – the power of refusal.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to learn that you can’t please everyone, even if you commit to something they might not be happy with the results and committing to everything will exhaust you and in turn you will not please ANYONE. It is better to take it one thing at a time, please one person then commit to the next.
In the past I have found myself double booked and had to let people down – that feels so much worse than saying NO to begin with because you are letting them down last minute and they might have to find someone else. As it is now I have a lot of work to do so I can get to the stage of saying no confidently and not double booking myself, but I am working on it.
As scary as making this change is it is so worth it in the long run and should be encouraged to the people who always stress themselves out doing everything for everyone else. Living for myself seemed like a scary concept until I began to do it – Now I recommend it to everyone. If you find yourself busy with everyone else’s problems don’t be afraid to just say NO.
Do you think you could live for yourself? Or have any tip on how to deal with it?
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