There are times in life where I just have to sit back and realise what I have to be thankful for, other than life itself. In an incredibly human fashion I have found myself in a slump – both creatively and mentally – where I just haven’t been happy about where I am in life. I have been feeling very unaccomplished and a little bit useless recently not realising that feeling like that was making me do less and less until I actually did render myself useless and don’t accomplish anything. This is a re-run in my life that comes back every few months – you know, like all the Friends re-runs that make you sad because they aren’t on anymore but you watch them over and over again even though you are slightly bored of them?…no? Just me…okay… – but this month I just haven’t been able to shake it off *Cue Taylor Swift*.
There are many things that could have shaken my slump off, but I really don’t know which one did…all I know is it is gone and I have managed to open a whole new world of creative thoughts that I never thought could even exist – kind of like finding Narnia, but my own special version – never before have I felt so alive, riling with ideas, thoughts and images that blow my mind every day. Unfortunately with this surge of creativity also comes the dreaded insomnia due to me being so excited about the images that come in to my head – kind of like wanting to be with someone all the time, but you can’t be so you stay up until ridiculous hours on the phone and get 2 hours sleep before work the next day – there is also an intense fear I have created in my mind about missing something important if I let myself sleep (crazy..I know, but unfortunately I can not change the way my mind works).
Truthfully I am not entirely sure whether this mahoosive (my way of saying massive) change is positive or negative, I guess only time can tell with that one, I mean on the one hand I am feeling happier and more accomplished but on the other hand I am too hyperactive to get a decent amount of sleep. I presume things will have to change soon so I can get a little bit more sleep, but for now I am enjoying it and it is benefiting my work quite a lot so it can’t be too bad – I just wish I could stop thinking and get a good nights sleep!