Recently I have found myself lost in deep thought and scared.
Not because of my career or personal life, but more in regards to my opinions and views about the work I produce both online and offline. Complete honesty is now more important to me than it has ever been and with that in mind I have a few things to admit. When I started this blog I wanted views, followers and achievements causing me to focus less on the content I was providing, this has slowly changed to me genuinely caring about the content I put here, up until now where I find myself wanting to post less and less so that I have genuinely decent posts and opinions to share.
There are times where I don’t have anything interesting to share and that is fine, in the past I would waffle out a post in the hope that someone would connect to it even though I didn’t. This was wrong of me because it turned this blog in to a place where I felt an obligation to write here every single day even though I don’t need to do that. My main goal when starting up this blog was to improve my writing and gain a more personalised style of writing, but somewhere down the line I got blinded by numbers and it became about quantity rather than quality so I gradually spent less and less time on posts. With the new year came a huge realisation of this and a review of my goals and tactics when it comes to blogging.
It is important for me to continue posting on this blog because I still wish to improve my writing skills and style, however I will not be posting if I have nothing interesting to discuss or in other words I will not be waffling and hoping that one of you connects to my words in some way or another. I will now only post things that I genuinely connect to because they have a better feel and response to them…not to mention the fact that they have a much higher quality to them in both style and meaning.
One of the reasons that I believe this began to happen is time, I have been obsessed with the fact that time is very very quickly slipping away from me and I haven’t achieved as much as I would have liked to in my 19 years and 4 months on this earth which scares me quite a lot. My problem is I have so many dreams, aspirations and goals but instead of achieving them I sit around procrastinating in the fear of failing. Just watching the clock go round in to a new day with me being left, once again, cowering in a comfortable setting instead of getting out and throwing myself in to uncomfortable, scary and ambitious situations which strangely would make me feel less scared in life. My blog was me finally getting out of my comfort zone and doing something, but I got obsessed with the quantity because it was my one successful thing at the time.
Now I realise that I have other talents as well and I honestly always have, I’ve just been too blind to appreciate them enough to do anything about them. Instead of letting time pass us by it is important that we acknowledge our talents, dreams and aspirations then do something about them because we don’t want to leave this earth having achieved less than we had wanted of planned to.
I guess the point of this post is to believe in yourself and your talents, achieve what you want to in a genuine and full-hearted manner instead of getting blinded by the unimportant things like money, fame, views or followers which will hinder the quality of your work and success in your life.