There is no denying that long distance relationships are hard work. However, this does not mean that they are doomed, as a lot of people seem to believe. In fact, there are lots of couples that manage to make their long distance relationships work, and they don’t simply just get by – they enjoy what they have with their partner and they remain committed to the future. With that being said, read on to discover a number of long distance relationship tips that can help you to make sure you and your other half fall into the success story category.
Make sure you are both on the same page with regards to where you see the relationship going – Some people have a long distance relationship because their partner has to work in another country for a number of months or years. In these cases, you know your partner is going to be coming back to you on a certain date, so you are both on the same page. However, there are some cases whereby you don’t know what the end goal is. This could be because you met while you were on holiday in another country, and so you both lived in different places to begin with. If this is the case, you need to think about what you see in the end. Are you intending to move to the place your partner lives? Or, is your partner intending to start a new life in your country? This is something you both need to discuss because you could hit a bit of a crossroads if neither of you wants to budge. If this is the case, are you happy to maintain a long distance relationship forever? These are all the sorts of things you need to consider. If you aren’t on the same page, it could end up with your relationship coming to an end. If one of you is willing to compromise and move, you will need to look into all of the requirements. This includes looking into FISA immigration and legal requirements, as well as finding jobs in the area and getting to grips with the new way of life there. This may seem like a lot to take in but the worst thing you can do is bury your head in the sand.
Do things together – Just because you are not physically together does not mean that you cannot do things together. There are plenty of ways you can ‘spend time together.’ For example, you could watch a documentary on Vimeo or YouTube at the same time, or you could play an online game together. Perhaps your partner plays a musical instrument? If so, why not listen to them practicing over Skype? Maybe you could do a bit of online shopping together? It is all about being spontaneous and creative. You can also do similar things, even if you are not doing them at the same time. For example, you can recommend music, movies, TV shows and books to one and other. This means that you are listening, watching, and reading the same things, and so when you do talk you will have plenty of common experiences to discuss.
Manage expectations by setting ground rules – This is something that both of you need to do. Make it an open discussion rather than you laying out the rulebook for your half. State that you believe you should both have a discussion regarding what is expected of each of you during this time apart so that you are on the same page so problems can be prevented. You can then both set some ground rules regarding the things that you should and should not do while apart. If you are in the very early stages of a relationship, you need to confirm your commitment level and whether or not you are exclusive. Yes, this may be a difficult conversation, but being open and honest can save you from a lot of heartache overall.
Make visits to see one and other – There is no denying that when it comes to long-distance relationships, this is the main highlight. After all of the time that you have spent apart, there is nothing better than getting to have some quality time together. If your partner is based in a place that is far away and/or expensive to get to, this is probably going to take a bit of planning. If you do not have the money available at the moment, don’t let this deter you. Instead, simply put together a savings plan. You should start with a budget. This does not need to be complicated. A simple Excel spreadsheet will more than suffice. It should state your incomings and outgoings per month. You will then be able to see how much money you have left over, which will indicate how much you can put towards a flight every month. Not only this, but you should look for ways that you can make some extra savings. It is certainly worth calling up all of your providers and suppliers. Tell them you are thinking of leaving because your bills are too expensive. You will be surprised by how many special offers suddenly become available once you say this.
See it as an opportunity – Another tip for those in long-distance relationships is to view it as an opportunity. Rather than focusing on the negative aspects, you should see it as a chance for both of you to truly get to know how much you love each other. You know what they say – absence makes the heart grow fonder. If this is the case, you will both know how strong your relationship is and this will do wonders for your connection overall. There is nothing like a bit of distance to help you determine whether or not someone is the one for you.
Take the time to enjoy moments with your friends and family – You should not use the time apart to mope about and think about how much you miss your other half. You should use this time to make the most of your life and see the other people that mean the most to you, for example, your family and your friends. The time will pass a lot quicker if you spend it with the people that you love. After all, you are only going to be lonely and feel lonely if you choose to feel this way. There are still plenty of other people there for you and you do not need to let your world revolve around your partner. You still have you, your family, and your friends. You can also take the opportunity to learn something new or develop a new hobby. This is good for your sense of confidence, your health, and your overall emotional happiness. After all, it is never good for your entire world to be centred on one person.
Avoid over-communicating – Last but not least, it can be very easy to communicate too much when you and your partner are living in two different places. However, the last thing you want to do is come across as possessive and needy. You do not need to text each and every minute of the day in order to maintain a good relationship. After all, would you be talking each and every minute of the day if you both lived in the same place? Probably not! You don’t need to compensate for the distance by doing more. In fact, this could make the issue worse. Instead, it is all about talking at the right moments and enjoying quality conversations.
Hopefully, you now feel more prepared to make your long distance relationship work. If you follow the suggestions that have been presented, you will give yourself a great chance of making your relationship with your partner a success no matter how many miles apart you are. Yes, there are going to be days when it is frustrating and trying. However, it is important to remember that all relationships have their difficulties and even if you lived together you would have testing times too, so you need to pull together and put the effort in to make it work.
*This is a contributed post