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Dating is a minefield. You are putting yourself out there and hoping that you’ll meet the right person for you. Although not every date is a winner, there are some gems out there. For this reason, you should be careful not to waste your time. Especially on the people who aren’t as interested in you as you are in them. Chances are that if you really like someone you will ignore red flags in the relationship. This will come back to bite you later on. What are the red flags to look out for?
Red Flags To Look Out For
Below I share 10 things to keep in mind when you are out dating.
1. They Aren’t Listening To You
Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. However, if you’re doing a lot of listening and none of the talking or your chat is falling on deaf ears…be wary. Dating is about finding someone to make a partnership with, you aren’t a therapist. If the conversation isn’t going both ways, have a conversation and leave them if they aren’t willing to change this.
2. It’s Moving Too Fast
I’ve heard of people who meet the parents after one date. This is a huge red flag. Why do they want to rush you into the relationship? Are they hiding something? They may even be so desperate to be with someone that they are rushing in despite not truly loving you. You can’t really know someone after only a few weeks. Get to know them better then start discussing marriage, kids, and moving in together.
3. They Are Negative About You
If your date is spending their time criticising things about you instead of complimenting you, that’s not good. Not only will your self-esteem suffer, but it also means they probably don’t like you very much. You deserve to be treated well. This starts with them being positive about you and truly loving you. The other thing is that you shouldn’t have to fish for compliments. If they are into you, they will give you some positive comments.
4. They Disappear…A Lot
Of course, some people are just busy. However, it only takes 2 minutes (often less) to type a quick message to say “I’m busy, chat later” or “Working right now, chat tomorrow”. In this digital age and with Kent Dating sites, there is really no excuse for taking weeks to respond. Here’s the cold truth: if they want to talk to you, they will. Don’t be the person they talk to only because they are bored. Don’t let yourself be second best because you are so much more than that.
5. They Want All Of Your Time
The opposite of disappearing, they expect you to be there for them 24/7. It’s great to get a bit of extra attention and admiration, but too much can become suffocating. Having personal time or time with your friends without your partner is so important. This clingy behaviour could possibly turn into them relying on you for social interactions which can be damaging to both of you in the long run.
6. They Are Flaky With Plans
It’s more than understandable if something comes up last minute and someone has to cancel plans. It shouldn’t happen often though. If you find that your Kent Dating site date is constantly cancelling your plans, they probably don’t want to spend time with you. They may be experiencing something like anxiety, however, so ask them if they are okay before cutting all contact.
7. Your Friends Don’t Like Them
If your friend of 10 years thinks they are bad news, they probably are. Listen to your friends. They are only looking out for your best interests and will be there for you through each dating experience. Dates come and go, but friends are there for life. You don’t want to drive your friends away by spending all of your time with someone they can’t stand. They can also view the relationship from a different perspective from your which is valuable.
8. They Don’t Want To Meet Your Friends/Family
This is a bigger red flag than your friends not liking them. If they actively come up with excuses not to meet your friends and family that’s not good. Your friends and family are important parts of your life and if your other half has no interest in even meeting them, never mind getting to know them is there even any point in continuing the relationship? Either they step up, or you move on.
9. They Think You’re “Perfect”
Yes, it’s nice to hear words like “you’re perfect” or “There is no one better than you”, but it’s not healthy. The fascination will wear off and you’ll be left feeling bad about yourself. Eventually when they realise you aren’t what they have built you up to be the arguments will start and the relationship will break down really quickly. Other than that, it’s also just a little bit creepy. This is one of the red flags that you may not think is bad, but it is.
10. They Don’t Respect Your Interests
If they are constantly making you feel “stupid” or embarrassed about the things you watch or your hobbies then they are not worth your time. There is a huge difference between playfully teasing someone for their obsession with something and actively making them feel awful about it. Don’t let anyone ruin the things you enjoy. As with friends, hobbies and interests stay with you throughout all of your different dates.